Keeping the BOOM BOOM in Your Relationship CategoriesTo Your Health & Sanity

Keeping the BOOM BOOM in Your Relationship

Some people say that a satisfying and enjoyable sex life is impossible as you reach a certain age. Don’t listen to them. Maintaining intimacy in your relationship takes a little more effort, but worth every bit of it.  Many think that as you get older, your drive goes away. Well if you’re anything like me, my drive won’t be gone until I am six feet under. Even better, some studies show that the more you do the deed, the better your memory will be.  BONUS! If you want to keep the BOOM BOOM in your relationship, here are a few recommendations:

  1. Healthy Diet– As we all know, when you get older, you don’t have as much energy as you used to. By maintaining a healthy diet, you will have more energy.  When you have more energy, you will be more active.  When you are more active, then you are in better shape.  And what does this have to do with intimacy?  A healthy lifestyle creates better self-esteem and improves your flexibility which in return will allow for more enjoyable sex life. 
  2. Take Your Time– There is nobody under your roof and nowhere to go. Use this to your advantage and enjoy your time together. Try new things, new places in your house and most importantly, remember you don’t have to rush. If you feel the desire for an afternoon delight, go for it, you’ve got the time!
  3. Adjust your expectations– As you grow older, intimacy will inevitably change. Simple acts of affection such as a kiss or a hug can have a deeper meaning and be very pleasurable and may not lead to intimacy. That’s okay.  When you decide to become intimate, remember it is not going to be the same as you were young.  It will take longer and feel different as your bodies have changed.  However, being more mature and having a deeper connection to your partner will make the act that much more pleasurable.
  4. Try new things– What once felt good when you were younger may not feel good now. Explore each other and discover new sources of pleasure. For example, try different massages.  Many think of only the back for a massage.  Try massaging your partner’s feet, hands or even the head.  You never know what will put them in the mood. Even something as simple as a long hug with kisses can feel good. These may seem like little things, but they can redefine pleasure for both of you.
  5. Don’t Give Up– Sex is an integral part of your overall health and well-being. Don’t give up on sex just because things are different. Communication, as in any relationship, is the key. Talk you your partner and explore what you’re both comfortable with. Don’t think about what it used to be like, enjoy what it is like now.  Sex can be enjoyable and make you happy, no matter your age.

So, if you think you can’t be intimate and have great sex as a Boomer, snap out of it.  Your generation started the sexual revolution.  Your generation gave us great music like ‘Let’s Get It On’ and ‘Sexual Healing.’ It is your time to turn on those great tunes from your generation and put the Boom Boom back into your relationships.  I am sure you will have a smile on your face once you do!

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Chris Beach
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Chris Beach is the Executive Director of the Relationship Foundation of Virginia. He lives in Henrico County with his wife of 16 years and four boys. He is a life-long Richmonder and loves to help couples strengthen their relationships, encourage dads to be active in the lives of their children, and teach youth about the fears and joys of healthy relationships. For more information about the Relationship Foundation of VA, go to www.rfva.org.