Say What Now? CategoriesThe Pleasure of Life

Say What Now?

So it’s January, which means two things:

  1. I have let more than two months go between filing my columns. (The last one ran November 5 – Here’s Mud in Your Eye). It was about my dog pulling me down into the mud and then down a hill on my face. I thought it was pretty funny, but not as many people read it, seeing as it ran right before the election, and everyone was losing their minds right then. Judging by my Facebook feed, the mind-losing continues, so I’m not sure anyone will read this one either.)
  2. It’s well-past time to make New Year’s Resolutions.

What should my resolutions be?

I could write about what an idiot husband I am, but if I do that more than a couple times a year I think Stacy might decide something needs to be done about this situation.

I could write about the same old same old… the dog, my lame attempts at cleaning the garage / exercising / gardening / etc. Here, let me save us all six months’ worth of columns:

  • Last summer we had a weed that, I swear to Southern States, was taller than Stacy. At that point, it’s not a weed any more. It’s the property owner, and we are the weeds.
  • I haven’t played roller hockey in 15 years and will never play again. And I sure as hell will never again put on my still-stinking hockey pants. I’ve asked myself why these things are still in my garage, but I haven’t heard back yet.
  • My dog is smarter than me. Proves it every day. At this point, SHE’S the owner and I am the dog. Who’s walking who? Am I right??
  • I’m so old, I remember when “filing a column” meant smoothing out the big posts that held up the roof on the temple of the Roman overlords.
  • Boy oh boy, I don’t get these kids today. I mean, wazzup?? Am I right?
  • For me, the only thing “regular” about exercise is what happens right after I’m finished.
  • Too far?

OK, we’ve gotten the compulsories out of the way.

I could write about parenting, but now that Daniel and Madison are off to college, I really don’t have as much to say on that. Besides, since they are both adults now, maybe they would appreciate not having their lives splashed across the computer screens of literally dozens of readers. And, since they are now adults, I don’t legally control everything they do, so… you know, they may sue me or something.

I could resolve to file my columns more often but, to be honest, I’ve wondered lately if I have anything to say. It may be the fact that Daniel and Madison have (partially) flown the coop that I’m not sure what to write about, or even what to do with myself, going forward.

I’m not in a mid-life crisis because, let’s face it, given all the stupid crap I’ve done in my life, there is no way that I’m not WELL PAST the “mid” of life. And, actually, I feel pretty great, given the way the kids have turned out and the way Stacy and I have hung in there. So this is not an “I’m in a bad place” thing.

But there is a feeling of “what now?”

If only I wrote for a web site devoted to issues facing people my age… I could write about how we go through this empty nest thing and figuring out what’s next in life and ways to accomplish the next-stage-of-life goals we come up with…

Oh, wait…

I guess I know what I’ll be writing about now.

Chuck Hansen’s book are available at Nose-Sucker Thingees, Weeds Whacking Back & Cats in the Bathtub (a collection of humor essays) and Build Your Castles in the Air: Thoreau’s Inspiring Advice for Success in Business (and Life) in the 21st Century.

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Chuck Hansen is an award-winning author and humorist. In addition to his books, Chuck’s writing has appeared in publications in Virginia and across the country. Chuck also speaks frequently, bringing his unique, thoughtful humor to business and community group meetings and conferences. Chuck and his wife Stacy have two adult children (Daniel and Madison) and live in beautiful Midlothian, Virginia. For more information, or to contact Chuck, visit his website

One thought on “Say What Now?”

  1. Chuck, I always enjoy reading your columns. I am a little ahead of you on the empty nest thing, but haven’t gotten to grandchildren yet. AEKDB

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